Hosting An Inconvenient Aunt Story

---

Good for the constitution

Your maiden aunt was always fond of you and occasionally generous. Perhaps she would like the air down here.
Unlocks: Persuasive 21

'Dearest Aunt…'

A letter is in order, describing the endless virtues of the Neath.
(Persuasive challenge; almost impossible at 21, chancy at 35)

Reward spoiler

You came!

'… and the rumours of body-swapping murderers are nothing but untruth and calumny. The mushroom wines are delightful, and the fields somberly pretty…' You continue for several pages and pay the considerable postage to have the letter delivered to the surface. A few scant weeks later your aunt appears at your lodgings. She is keen to experience all the Neath has to offer and immediately sets out for society events, honey dens and glim shops. Although it's pleasant to have her company, you can't help but feel that her presence will complicate your life somewhat. She also appears to be spending money like a drunken sailor; that's your inheritance!
Persuasive increase
Connected: Bohemian increase
Connected: Society increase
A twist in your tale! You are now hosting an Inconvenient Aunt

Failure spoiler

Bats the size of eagles?

'..and the rumours of body-swapping murderers are nothing but untruth and calumny. The mushroom wines are delightful, and the fields somberly pretty…' You continue for several pages and pay the considerable postage to have the letter delivered to the surface. In a few weeks you have your reply: your aunt has decided against an actual visit, but wishes you to send her further letters describing the wonders of the Neath. Perhaps she will change her mind later.
Persuasive increase

Aunt amok!

Your maiden aunt is causing a social stir. Perhaps you can calm her down before she courts scandal.
Unlocks: Persuasive 33, hosting an Inconvenient Aunt 1

Scandal at the salon?

Your aunt is hosting a salon. Perhaps you can persuade her to keep matters low-key.

Reward spoiler

'How charming of your aunt…'

It takes a great number of impassioned words, but you persuade your aunt to tone down her salon somewhat. Prisoner's honey will not be served with the scones, and the ring fight in the drawing room is cancelled. When the time comes, the salon is a qualified success. A hint of scandal remains at having invited such a cross section of poets, society ladies, Unterzee captains and spies, but all remain polite and the conversation is engaging. You cannot help but feel that there will be further bullets to dodge from your relative, however.
Rewards :
Gain: 10 x Whispered Secret
Scandal increase 1 change point
Connected: Society increase 1 change point
Connected: Bohemian increase
Connected: the Great Game increase
Hosting an Inconvenient Aunt increase

The sins of the aunts

Your aunt is in trouble with devils. A contract may be involved.
Unlocks: Persuasive 45, hosting an Inconvenient Aunt 2

Coming to the rescue

Perhaps you can help. Perhaps you can get rid of her, one way or the other.
(Persuasive challenge)

Reward spoiler

Leaving the Neath

It seems that your aunt's salon caught the ear of some fairly senior devils, and they have been courting her attention. You manage to catch your aunt before she signs the contract for her soul, although even your eyes widen at the things the Brass Embassy is offering in recompense. You explain to your aunt how close she was to damnation, and she breaks down, sobbing. It seems she has been desperate for some time: the delights of the Neath are too much for her. She agrees that the best thing would be to return to the surface. She asks you to join her, but your plans here are far from complete. You bid a tearful but not entirely unrelieved farewell.
Rewards :
Gain: 1 x Infernal Contract
Persuasive increase
An occurrence! Your Inconvenienced by your Aunt Quality is now 7!

The Aunt and the Embassy

Your aunt was carried off by devils. Is she still at the Embassy? Has she been consigned to some pit of torment? Will you sleep tonight?
Unlocks: Inconvenienced by your Aunt 3, Persuasive 65

Drink to forget

Perhaps the answer is at the bottom of a bottle. If you drink enough, perhaps you'll forget her face.
Unlocks: Greyfields 1879 30

Reward spoiler

Sinking the nightmare

Last night you didn't dream about your aunt. You didn't dream about anything. Your head is thumping and you may have compared a respected journalist to a pox-ridden hyaena, but you didn't dream.
Lose: 30 x Greyfields 1879
Nightmares decrease
Wounds increase
Scandal increase

D—n them! You're going to rescue her!

The Brass Embassy won't hold on to her forever. She's your flesh and blood. You owe it to her, even if she can drain a jar of prisoner's honey in one gulp.

Requires 15 Fate

Fate-locked content must not be placed on the wiki, per the developers.

An episode of aunts

A long hansom ride across London has you considering your memoirs. How will you describe that business with your aunt?
Unlocks: Persuasive 65

She left in the company of devils

You could not or would not save your aunt from the predations of devils. Her soul was forfeit and she was carried off to the Brass Embassy.

Reward spoiler

Best forgotten?

Perhaps you should leave the business with your aunt out of your memoirs. Or perhaps you should do something about her fate. Would that even be possible?
An occurrence! Your Inconvenienced by your Aunt Quality is now 1!

She returned to the surface

Your aunt was hounded by both scandal and devils. She returned to the surface in haste and you have not seen her since.

Reward spoiler

Gone but not forgotten

You could get a decent chapter for the memoirs from your aunt's shenanigans in the Neath. Perhaps you'll see her again, one day.
An occurrence! Your Inconvenienced by your Aunt Quality is now 7!

Do I recall an aunt?

You have no clear memory of an aunt. Perhaps she never contacted you. Perhaps you've been repeatedly hit on the head since those days. Perhaps the vaguest of recollections robs you of sleep. Do you want to revisit those days? [Begin the Aunt storyline again - one time only.]

Reward spoiler

Your aunt is here!

Whatever happened before is forgotten. What matters now is that your aunt is in the Neath and is lodging with you. She is keen to experience all the Neath has to offer and immediately sets out for society events, honey dens and glim shops. Although it's pleasant to have her company, you can't help but feel that her presence will complicate your life somewhat. She also appears to be spending money like a drunken sailor; that's your inheritance!
Rewards:
An occurrence! Your Inconvenienced by your Aunt Quality is now 1!
Connected: Bohemian has increased
Connected: Society has increased
1 x Confident Smile

---

A letter from your aunt

Unlocks: Inconvenienced by your Aunt 7, Persuasive 65
Your aunt returned to the surface some time ago, hounded by scandal and devils. She has written you a letter. It seems she has a marvellous business idea, and seeks your help.

'The house at this address burnt down and is home only to weasels…'

No. No, no no. That's not going to happen. Seal the envelope up. Send it back to the surface. Business with your aunt? Absolutely not.

Reward spoiler

Best left alone

You send the letter off, confident that you are better off without your aunt's schemes, whatever they are. She may be your flesh and blood, but nobody who serves prisoner's honey on scones at a salon is to be trusted in a business partnership.
Subtle increase but no higher than 3
Gain: 1 x Confident Smile

In for a penny…

Why not? The old dear has a canny sort of mind, and there can't be many people who have returned from the Neath. You'll at least hear her out.

Requires 15 Fate

Fate-locked content must not be placed on the wiki, per the developers.

A Neathy libation for your aunt

'…and the ladies of my Neathy Club can't wait to sample the delicious mushroom wines of the Neath. Could you be a dear and buy me a few dozen cases?'

Reward spoiler

Attend to oenological matters

She's promised to send you enough money to cover the wine. Can you navigate the currents of the Bazaar's export laws?
Unlocks: 500 x Greyfields 1879

Reward spoiler

And off it goes

You know who you have to deal with. You pacify an auditor with a bribe. You get drunk with a pair of goods inspectors. You arrange for the wine to be parcelled up and sent off to the surface. The ladies of the surface better be grateful for all this effort. They have no idea how boring goods inspectors are as drinking companions.

The memories of surface wine cling to you like fog. Can the mushroom ever hope to compete with the grape?
Rewards:
Persuasive increase
Lose: 500 x Greyfields 1879
Inconvenienced by your Aunt increase
Gain: 200 x Surface Currency

Neathy jewels for your aunt

'…I'm sure that the next great thing in fashion will be glim jewellery. Could you buy up a crate of the stuff and send it up? You're such a dear thing.'

Glim for the surface

Your aunt has promised you a banker's draft to cover the glim. There are hardly any export controls on glim, so this should be a simple matter if you can find enough.
unlocked with Glim 500

Reward spoiler

You see that the glim is crated, stamped and sent off in the company of large, dangerous men with rifles. The banker's draft arrives shortly thereafter. Is life not delightful when everything goes to plan?
Lose: 500 x Glim
Gain: 200 x Surface Currency
Inconvenienced by your Aunt is increasing…

Honey for your aunt

'…and I understand the legalities might be a little difficult, but the ladies at my Neathy Club are so keen to try prisoner's honey that I can't disappoint them. Do be a poppet and send some up.'

Honey and sunlight

She wants prisoner's honey for her ladies' club? Good Lord. Still, whatever happens on the surface, you'll be a long way under it.
Unlocks: 250 x Drop of Prisoner's Honey
Persuasive challenge

Reward spoiler

What will happen up there?

The auditors only take a little of your honey for their 'quality tests'. They relax onto the chaise longues of the testing suite and vanish one by one. You cask up the remainder of the honey and send it on the long, difficult journey to the surface.
Assuming it gets there, you can't help but wonder about how it will be received. Is the surface world ready for honey-dreams? What are you starting here?

Rewards:
Persuasive increase
Lose: 250 x Drop of Prisoner's Honey
Gain: 200 x Surface Currency
Inconvenienced by your Aunt increase

---

A knock on the door

Who can it be, at this late hour?
Unlocks: Inconvenienced by your Aunt 9
They sound d—nably insistent, whoever they are.

A trio who mean you harm

Three knuckle-scarred bruisers occupy your doorstep. They don't say why they are there, but they do make clear their intention to drag you into the street and beat you bloody.
Dangerous challenge, virtually impossible at 71

Reward spoiler

Back down again

You nod, smile, and smack the nearest of the trio with the cane you keep near the door. She crumples immediately. The other two don't fare any better and you shake the least unconscious of them until you get answers.
Oh no. These people are agents of certain surface ladies who have been cheated by your aunt. You kick them into the street absent-mindedly.
Over the next few days, letters arrive from your aunt. Matters become clear. Greyfields wine does not appeal to the surface palate. Beautiful glim jewellery melts into soggy mush when exposed to sunlight. Did the honey go bad? It did little more than soothe throats. Your aunt's club is ruined. She has had enough. She is returning to the Neath. Good God. She'll be with you within the week.
Dangerous increase
An occurrence! Your Inconvenienced by your Aunt Quality is now 10!

A return to old habits

Late night salons…

Unlocks: Inconvenienced by your Aunt 10
A parlour full of honey-addled society matrons. The attention of the Constables. Your aunt is at her old tricks.

Controlling the damage

You can only try to stop the worst of it, and keep the names out of the newspapers.
Straightforward at Persuasive 90

Reward spoiler

A blur of activity

You scrape the honey off the wallpaper into a bucket. You evict the zailors and call a hansom for the noted barrister. Your carefully released rumours of a Countess in a new hat see the society columnists haring across town and away from your lodgings. The tomb-colonies will be spared your aunt for another week.

Rewards:
Persuasive increase
Gain: 44 x Drop of Prisoner's Honey
Inconvenienced by your Aunt increase

The fate of your aunt

Enough. Your aunt's profligacy threatens your purse and your reputation. It's been weeks since you slept well. Something must be done. You can surely find someone to take her off your hands.
Unlocks: Inconvenienced by your Aunt 11

The bosom of the church

Your aunt is never going to make a nun. But she plays a mean organ and can organise a charitable luncheon with the best of them. Perhaps she could be encouraged to perform propriety and philanthropy.
unlocked with Connected: The Church 15

Reward spoiler

Blessed relief

Your aunt takes the Church by storm. Within a week, four parishes are fighting over her organ-playing skills. Another week and she has raised enough money to repair a church roof holed by a falling stalactite. She'll have a lodging-house for fallen gentlemen before the month is out.

With any luck, her new friends will keep her out of the honey-dens and gambling houses. You might even get to enjoy your legacy, one day.
An occurrence! Your Inconvenienced by your Aunt Quality is now 12!

A job with the Masters of the Bazaar

The woman is a walking advertisement for the wares of Mr Wines. Perhaps you can persuade the jolliest of the Masters to take her on in some capacity.
Unlocks: Connected: the Masters of the Bazaar 1

Reward spoiler

An audience with Mr Wines

Mr Wines drums his long, gloved fingers on his desk of black coral. 'Yes, yes. We are familiar with the work of the lady in question. Admirable appetites, we thought. Substantial desires. And so handsome! She could almost be a sister to the delicious Mrs Gebrandt. We can certainly find a use for her. Our newer creations require robust testers. And the Parlour of Virtue has a position of management currently vacant. We shall have Jervaise see that contracts are drawn up.'

Well, that went splendidly. You come away from the spires of the Bazaar with a little tipple to celebrate your aunt's new job.
An occurrence! Your Inconvenienced by your Aunt Quality is now 14!
Gain: 1 x Greyfields 1868 First Sporing

A job with the Unexpurgated London Gazette

Your aunt would make a splendid society columnist. Perhaps you could persuade Mr Huffam, the editor, that he needs her.
unlocked with Connected: Society 15

Rewards spoiler

A great talent for the work

Your aunt has collected enough gossip to bring down four governments and a pope. If she has one great talent, it is for getting respectable people into scandalous situations. Mr Huffam is no fool, and signs her up immediately.

You can look forward to your aunt's pseudonym gracing such articles as 'What the Viscountess saw' and 'For shame, your Grace'. She does promise to keep your name out of the papers for a while, though.
An occurrence! Your Inconvenienced by your Aunt Quality is now 16!

It's all in a good cause, dear

Your aunt is far too busy with good works to damage your propriety. The Church keeps her occupied with all manner of charitable deeds.
Unlocks: Inconvenienced by your Aunt 12

Help her out with a donation

Always is a problem with a relative expert in extracting donations. Today, she is extracting from you. A home for damaged zailors or somesuch. Still, it's good for the reputation.
unlocked with Glim 500

Reward spoiler

A genteel sort of tax

Your aunt's glim-tins are fuller than a bursar's belly. She kisses your cheek and pronounces you wonderful. Are such donations better value than bribing the press and the Constables? You're not sure. Your aunt disappears to harass a meeting of lawyers as you ponder.
Lose: 500 x Glim
Connected: The Church increase (5-14 change points)
Scandal decrease (1-6 change points)
Suspicion decrease (2 change points)

I've brought something for you to try, dear

Mr Wines keeps your aunt busy. She's often seen at the more daring society events, bringing a bottle of something novel.
Unlocks: Inconvenienced by your Aunt 14

What do you think of this?

Your aunt still holds you in high regard. After all, it was you who got her this job. She would like your opinion on one of Mr Wines' creations.
(A matter of luck: a long shot…but you might win.)

Reward spoiler

Rushing out

Your aunt pours out a measure from a silver flask. It's a dark liquid, and you have to drink it quickly before it evaporates. Yes! You didn't catch a hint of a taste, but you feel marvellous. Like you could fit thirty hours into a day. You rush out into the street so you can do… something. Anything. You just have to do it right now!

Rewards:
Your actions have been refreshed!

Failure spoiler

Unlikely to be popular

Your aunt pours out a measure from a stone jar. It's colourless, and smells faintly of ink. You take a sip. Good God, but it's sour. Your face contorts. Your jaw spasms. A tooth crunches into powder. You'd be howling for something to take the taste away if you could speak. What in Hell is this stuff?
Wounds are increasing…

Just got in before my deadline, dear

Your aunt works as a society columnist for Mr Huffam at the Unexpurgated London Gazette. She turns up at your doorstep in the small hours, looking tired but satisfied.
Unlocks: Inconvenienced by your Aunt 16

Offer her a glass of wine and listen to tomorrow's news

Your aunt's elegantly manicured hands are on the pulse of London's society scene. If you ply her with decent wine, she often turns garrulous.
**Unlocks: 20 x Greyfields 1882

Reward spoiler

'And, who did I spot but…'

'Well, you know about Lady G-'s thing for zailors? Yes, I'm afraid Sir W—— found out. Terrible business. I could hardly bring myself to write ten column inches. And what's more…' It would be rude to take notes, but this is explosive stuff. And not all of it will be reported in the papers. Thankfully, your aunt agrees to keep your part in the whole business quiet.
Lose: 20 x Greyfields 1882
Scandal decrease
Gain: 2 x Inkling of Identity
Gain: 3 x Incendiary Gossip

---

All images and directly quoted text are (c) Failbetter Games Ltd. and are used by permission.

---

All images and directly quoted text are © Failbetter Games Ltd. and are used by permission.
Failbetter Games asks that you read the FBG Fan Project Guidelines before adding content to this wiki.